Why we don't have to be a "HOT MESS" in today's culture!

The other day I was heading down the road and I heard something on the radio from a woman talking about being a "hot mess." We hear that concept all the time in today's culture. I think that something that started out as a funny has now become an acceptable and cultural norm. It actually almost has a badge of honor on it...if you are a hot mess, then everything is just okay. Because that's the way we are supposed to be as women in today's age. And why would we want to change it... "Everybody is doing it!" Right?

So, I sat and pondered this thought for a bit. And it actually made me a little mad inside. It lit a fire in me. Why? Who said this was okay? And why do we have to be like this? Then I started to think about what God must think of this. His beautiful creation...created to be the helper...created to be "born responders"...he has great purpose for us. And somehow I don't think it's supposed to be a strung-out, overbooked, exhausted woman that we see in so many faces of women today.

•   We are wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
•   We belong to our heavenly father. John 1:12
•   We are chosen. Ephesians 1:4 (Does that mean we are chosen to be helpmates, lovers to our         husbands, caretakers of our homes, mothers to children that God gave us?  The answer  is 100% yes. We are chosen.
•  We are not slaves to sin. Romans 6:6 (Does this mean that we are perfect? No! But we can make daily choices not to be slaves to a sinful life and desires.)
•  We are dressed with strength. Proverbs 31:17

Those are a few things that we are! And there are so many others. He has made incredible creations who can do amazing things. We create and carry life in us. Just that alone is beyond what the mind can imagine.

So, why do we feel like a hot mess? Why do we walk around in a state of despair most of the time? Why have we adopted this motto?

• Are you overbooked? What does your schedule look like and where can it be streamlined?
• Are you in the word of God on a daily basis? This is #1 in my book! And I am not just talking about a devotional. I mean prayer, scripture writing, a bible study or reading straight from the word. If we don't feed ourselves with the word of God how can we know how to handle the fiery darts shot at us on a daily basis?
• When was the last time you went on a date with your spouse? Put on a nice dress, make-up and went out for a few hours? And if you can't go out, then make time in-house. My husband and I used to have a weekly date night to watch ER together...I would pop the popcorn, kids asleep and we would sit side by side watching our favorite show. If you have local friends, do a kid swap...one watches the kids one night and then the other watches them the next time.
• Take some alone time...yeah, I mean take it. It might be at six in the morning to sit on your back porch and watch the sun rise, or just some time with friends for an hour at Starbucks. We all have to have time where we don't feel spent.
• Does your family sit at the dinner table together at night? Share the day's stories...laugh over memories...talk about what's going on in the world??? Clear the table off of piles of stuff and be together...invest in each other. Stop eating dinner in the drive thru at McDonalds on the way to the next sporting event.
• Do you have a schedule? And do you stick to it? And if you have never done a schedule, find someone who does them and have them mentor you. I know this is hard for so many of you, but it's imperative for your sanity. I have said for years...the more scheduled I am, the more free time I have. Always.
• Are you surrounded by strong women who love God? And I don't mean a huge circle...I am talking about your intimates...the few (2-3 women) who you can trust, know that they will pray and be there for you. And these women will always point you to Jesus. They won't beat around the bush when talking to you...they will give you the straight truth. We strengthen each other with good friendship, love and trust.
• Do you exercise? A doctor said years ago that a daily dose of 30 min of exercise is equivalent to dose of an anti-depressant ( I am not referring to someone who is clinically depressed and under the supervision of a doctor). Exercise changes the way we look at life and how we respond to life. Take your kids and walk around the neighborhood for 30 minutes...it doesn't have to be a fancy gym with all the specialized equipment. Keep it simple.
• Screen time...how much of it is monopolizing your time? Everyone loves to take time to scroll through social media, but don't let it take away from your time that should be focused on other things. 

Let this be an assessment of your own life. God wants so much more for us. Not perfection, but balance, joy and fruitfulness. And as you make an assessment, start working on one thing at at time. Don't overhaul your life and expect it to stick. Take one item that can use some change and make the necessary changes. God will walk through it with you. He is faithful to embrace us where we need his help. Pray. Believe. And feel his presence.