Exchanging the Mountains for the Beach

So, how exactly did we get here? Back to the beautiful beaches of Florida.  How did we leave such luscious landscape in the mountains and the clear, crisp air? We never thought that we would be back in Florida...except for an occasional vacation. It was never on our radar...we were so happy and content making roots in NC. Why would we ever leave? Even my mind is blown from the events of the last nine months. So, here is our story.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55: 8-9

Last September, Matthew was gearing up for the next open enrollment season in his job as an insurance manager. He would spend weeks training new and old agents as they prepared to sell for the season that runs from October to the end of December. Matthew, for the past 3.5 years, continued to work for the same insurance company in Florida. He would travel back and forth during the season and then he was home most of the year. It seemed like the perfect situation and it gave Matthew lots of time at home with us. I was home, homeschooling 4 of our kids, and our first child was in college. I also was babysitting two boys and tutoring several students in the afternoon. It seemed like the perfect situation. We were happy and content where we were. We were working as deacons at our church, leading the young adult small group and we were very active with our local homeschool group. Why change anything? Something was definitely brewing in the air.

When Matthew got the offer of a promotion at his company I honestly brushed it aside. I told him that I didn't even want to hear it. I was happy where I was. And after losing my mother the year before in Florida, I had no good thoughts about moving back. I knew that the owner of the company wanted Matthew back. He was a pivotal part of their company and he brought a lot of good to their team. But I was happy where I was. And I was good with that.

But was Matthew? He loved living in NC...he loved the mountains and our quaint town. But he was struggling with so much free time. He was home all the time. Yeah, I know, that sounds weird when you first say it. Everyone wants free time. But he was home all day...with the kids and I. And men are meant to be working and productive. And he didn't feel productive. He would help me out where ever he could...but he wasn't meant to be taxi dad to the kids and making dinners. It's not how men are wired...they aren't natural nurturers that women are. And he wasn't fulfilled with working just a few months of the year (though he made a full years salary in that time). And he couldn't stand that I was so busy. My schedule was full. I was babysitting 2 boys full time, tutoring 5 dyslexic students and was still working as a doula. I attended 6 births in my busy schedule last year. Matthew had to schedule in time to see me...sadly. We were out of balance. Matthew prefers that I pour my time into the kids...caring for our home and homeschooling. He wanted his wife back. And the new promotion provided for me to go back to being a full time stay at home mom that I was for years. That's what he wanted. We always believed that our family came first, and it easily was becoming out of whack.

But I still said, "No." I wasn't interested. I didn't want to go back. I hated Florida. It was a place that I didn't miss one bit. Why would I go back? And since I have such a loving, sweet husband...he didn't want to make me do it. And the decision was made. We would stay in NC.

And then I remember the day so clearly...it was a beautiful fall day in NC...my birthday actually. I was driving to Asheville to have breakfast with my friend. And I called another friend..my mentor, former youth leader.  Alice, is one of the few people who knows me through and through. And she isn't afraid to tell me the truth. We were chatting as I drove through the mountains...and I happened to mention about the offer Matthew had received a few weeks before. She was so excited about the offer and said, "of course you are going to go, right?" I laughed and said, "no. I don't want to go. So we aren't going." And then I got the strongest rebuke that I had received in a long time. She spoke so intently and fervently. This is a woman who has been married for over 40 years and she knows how men work. She told me quite clearly..."I know your husband. And it doesn't matter if you want to go. He does, and you need to follow. Put down your stubbornness and move to Florida." Few people can talk to me like she does. And she spoke right to my heart. The Lord was speaking through her.  She pierced it. She was right and I knew it. I was leading my family and I was out of place. I needed to let my husband make this decision and I needed to follow him.

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

And I called my husband...sitting in the parking lot of a restaurant in Asheville...I feel like it just happened...and I told him that I would follow him. And that we would move back to Florida. He thought I was kidding. I was not. I was going to act in obedience...not to my husband, but to the Lord.

 "For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God." Ruth 1:16