Monday, January 28, 2013
The Real Me
I had to post about the above picture. I posted it on Facebook on Saturday after some thoughts with God. I was having a really rough week with my self-image. Not feeling up to par, I guess is where I was at. Not feeling any thinner...feeling like the round ball that I was. Crazy. I must admit that this weight loss journey is such a mental game. It's so hard because you feel you look one way, but you really look another way. Obviously I don't feel as big as I did last year at this time...but I just can't seem to know how big I am. I am not used to this skin I am currently in. And the hard part is that it changes all the time. I have lost 112 pounds..in 11.5 months...I am constantly changing. I can't describe my feelings really well...it's so weird.
Anyway, so I was thinking about it and I felt like God wanted me to take a picture of myself. I was alone in the house (that rarely happens) and I don't think I have EVER taken a picture of myself. Headshots, yes. But not a whole body shot. It felt uncomfortable to even take the picture. And, I was so amazed. I honestly felt like there was a whole different person in the picture. How could that possibly be me??? It was an incredible moment. I saw myself for the first time...and I liked what I saw. And it gave me that burst of energy to push forward (not that I was ready to give up)...and keep reaching for my dream. It was quite the moment for me!