Tuesday, February 14, 2012
If you could hear my heart, then you will hear these words. They come from my inner core...from the depth of my heart.
Little Judah: Oh, how you grow so fast. You are such a little man. Today we were walking and you were holding my hand, but as soon as we hit the sidewalk you let go of my hand. My heart was sad for a moment. Each day you don't need me the same. Each day you grow stronger, braver and bigger. Oh, how I know God has plans for you. You are mighty already. You want to be heard. You are strong in voice. You are a leader. God is doing some amazing things. You are a work in progress. But remember that I will always be there to hold your hand.
William: So big and tough...but inside you are all mush and sweetness. I love when you tell me I look beautiful. You always go out of your way to compliment someone. You have always done that...that's how God crafted you. It is so sweet. But at the same time, you are still ahead. In front of...a leader. I ask God how he can give me two boys in a row who are leaders. Not sure what he has planned for you. But your mixture of sweet and salty will take you places. One day you wife will adore you because you will love her so evenly, softly. Your heart is so tender. I pray every day how to deal with you...how to give back to your tenderness.
Esther: My little queen. You are as beautiful as a rose. You beauty is wrapped inside and out. I love that about you. You are so quiet. Sometimes I wish you would talk more...but I know God made you that way. It's the little snuggles that you give that I love. How you always want to sit with me still. Though you are quiet, you too are strong. You know what you know...and there is nothing to shake that. God will use that inner strength. You are going places...I can't wait to see God open those doors.
Caleb: Our little warrior. Given to us on a day of tragedy (9/11/01), but really to be that gleam of light in the darkness. I must admit the years past have been hard. I haven't known how to be your mom. I never dealt with anyone with a handicap. I feel like I am fumbling in the dark...unsure of what to say, do or be. I know God still has so much for you. He doesn't do things without a purpose. Each day has been better...I see who you are more each day. That excites me. I believe God brought the right people in our life so that we could see the true you. I pray that everyday I am the mom that you need and that God shows me the path. I thank God for you and the walk we are on. God is so good.
Bryn: Brynnie, Brynnie...when I look at you I see me. Only, I don't see the little girl that I was. Someone who had been hurt, rejected and abandoned. You have been loved. You have been given time. The first born is the hardest...you aren't sure how to be the parent. Where is our instruction book, Lord? Slowly, God has shown us how to be the parents of this beautiful teenager. Be patient with us. When you trust the one above, then you know God is on your side. I see great things in your future. God has it all mapped out...trust him always. He always has the best for you. I see that in you already. He is speaking to you today...be still and listen.
Matthew: Husband to this crazy girl for almost 16 years. How have you handled me? With so much gentleness and care. I can't believe that you have known how to deal with me. I have not be the easiest wife. You have loved me, even when I was unlovable. You have loved me through so much. I thank you for that. I am continuing to be a new person. Trust in God for that.
My daily love note is always to the Lord. He hears my heart...all I have in there. My heart cries out to him, my fears, my wants, desires and struggles. I love that he there to whisper in an instant and comfort when needed. He also is the first to discipline...a way to show his love. He has the best for me. I trust him wholeheartedly. I am his.