Farm living, includes loss too. When I was expecting a quiet day here on our land, and instead we lost our mama sheep, Valentine. She was out bleating for her breakfast (totally typical in the course of a day)...Matt went to feed her and she laid down next to the feed bucket...minutes later she was convulsing and then she was dead. We have no idea what happened! We think possible snake bite,but we didn't see any evidence of that. It went so fast. I was gone for the whole thing. Which is probably a good thing. God always knows where I will be...since I don't deal with loss very well. The worst part is that her baby Valentino laid right beside her until we came to bury her. I just cried when I saw that scene. And later on he kept on circling her mound. I feel so sad for him. Losing his source of protection and companionship.
So this is when I usually think, "is this worth it?" Spending all this time and money and love and then it can be lost in a moment. I especially thought of all the homesteaders of one time and how much something like this could affect their whole family. Imagine if we were depending on her for meat ( like if there wasn't a Publix around every corner)...and for future babies. So, it was a bit sad for us yesterday as we worked around the property. Her face and her temperament were so sweet. She will be missed.
One up-note, it was awesome to be able to call our close neighbors (the Coslows) and cry a bit...and then they came to help us bury her. We love that aspect of farming communities that has been lost. Neighbor helping neighbor...sharing the good and the bad. God is good...all the time.